Monopoly - the Here & Now

I hate Monopoly. Hate it. Can't stand it.

I hate the fact that everytime the game is played, somebody ends up miserable. Either it's me because I feel like I'm a smart, fairly mathematical guy who should do well at the game but often doesn't, or it's somebody else who gets racked off because I want follow the rules and not "loan money from the bank", or it's just somebody who wants to give up because the game has been going on for seven hours and nobody is any closer to winning than they were at the beginning of the time.

I hate the fact that there are something like 47150 versions of the game so you can buy your favorite Muppet, Superman Returns, NASCAR, Chicago White Sox, Elvis, Rudolph, Duel Masters, and every other stupid possible corporate tie-in property.

Heck, I even hate the McDonald's Monopoly tie-in.

And for some stupid reason, I hate the new Here & Now Electronic Banking edition even more.

One of the old-school charms of Monopoly - and there were few for me, I'll be honest - was the arranging of your money - either tucking it just under the board, arrayed from white on the left to orange on the right or the "more mature" stacking of the cash from bottom white to top orange. The money is/was a cool enough feature that the Monopoly website offers pdfs so you can print more money if you need it - and if you were too cheap to just order more from Amazon.com. But the new edition gets rid of all of that by handing each player an electronic debit card that automatically keeps track of the cash you've got.

No more free parking. No more loaning of money. No more skimming by the banker. And no more learning math for little kids.

It's crap.

And I have no idea how some of the stuff would work. Like would two players have to swipe their cards whenever rent is paid? Would you have to swipe the property and then the card to buy something? So many questions...

Be warned, however, that if you're on a hunt to buy the Here & Now edition of Monopoly that has the electronic banking (if you like that sort of craptacular thing) that there appear to be various versions of the Here & Now edition.

There's the London version (board details here) both in "limited edition" and "electronic edition" as well as a US version that might or might not come in the same limited/electronic editions.

If you're trying to find out more about Monopoly, check the following sites:

• Wikipedia's main Monopoly article
• About.com's "10 coolest Monopoly editions" article
• A Monopoly collector selling his/her stuff
• The Monopoly webring index page
• Another Monopoly collector page
• Wikipedia's list of localized Monopoly versions
• A Database of the Monopoly streets in various editions
• Wikipedia's list of licensed Monopoly games
• Another Monopoly collector page
• A game dealer's Monopoly page