Winter break's media

First, the big pile of meh...

• X-Men: War Machines - Zzzzzz...look, there are Sentinels to be destroyed...Sentinels that are being controlled by an Eastern European breakaway republic...and the X-Men destroy the Sentinels...zzzzzzzzzzzz 
• Green Lantern: Sector 2814 - Back in the dumb ol' days when anything yellow would nearly defeat Hal Jordan. Look, somebody's thrown a bottle of urine at Green Lantern (who wields the most powerful weapon in the universe), he's going to drown!
• DC Universe: Legacies - It's a boring, bland DC version of Marvels. It reads like the DC editors listed every event in DC history that they found important - including all the new ones that turn out not to be important or even moderately interesting - and told their team to have a guy talk about each of them...in order...and with like no context. 
• Superman/Batman: Public Enemies (DVD) - The comic arc on which this straight-to-DVD movie is based was entertaining enough and funny. This movie takes all the same events, deletes the humor, and makes it pretty boring. Plus the art style doesn't translate well to the movie medium. The title sequence is kinda cool, though.

Then the middling stuff...

• Superman/Batman: Torment - It's certainly not one of the best collections from this series, but it's no bad. Artwork's okay. Bekka's kinda weird and somebody I've never heard of before. It's a'ight...
• Fables: Werewolves in the Heartland - I was really disappointed in this one. The artwork stinks, and all of the women pretty much look identical (check a few pages here). The story's not terrifically interesting, either, as it requires retconning of one of Bigby's backstory. Big disappointment...
• Django Unchained - Even The Girl was excited to see this one. I'm all down with Tarantino's films, but this isn't anywhere near one of his best. I'll let this review speak for me...

  Don't get me wrong — he's still able to offer up scenes set to music that are the cinematic equivalent of a velvety slice of rich cheesecake, he has a facility with and takes an unbridled glee in dialogue in a way that's unequalled among filmmakers working today, and he comes up with unforgettable characters that feel intensely modern but also like they've walked out of some long forgotten but incredible film. It's possible that no one does momentary pleasures like Tarantino, and Django Unchained has no insignificant amount of instances of sheer enjoyment, from an introductory sequence in which a scene-stealing Christoph Waltz as Dr. King Schultz liberates the titular slave (Jamie Foxx) from traders to one in which Django rides onto an estate to some anachronistic hip-hop. 

  But the film also comes across like a rough cut that was never looked at as a coherent whole, and some segments that start off as promising become interminable while others feel entirely unnecessary. There's no pressure on or expectation for Tarantino to please anyone other than himself, and the film feels overstuffed with ideas that should have been pruned. That sense of fun needed to power something this outsized wanes before the film reaches its ending, two hours and 45 minutes later — it's not a feature that you want to last forever, but one that seems to take it for granted that you feel that way. There's a good movie inside Django Unchained, maybe even a great one, but it hasn't been carved out of the lopsided excess.

  The film is overly gorey - with ridiculous amounts of blood spurting forth from every gunshot wound (something that felt okay when Tarantino was doing Kill Bill but that feels very much out of style in this faux Western film) - and seems to almost relish the slavery-era violence. The film is unpleasant and overly indulgent, seriously in need of a stronger editing hand - especially during a far-against-tone, broadly comedic scene of a proto-KKK attack.
  
  There are moments of stylish greatness, but there isn't a great film here. 

And the good stuff...

• Casa de mi Padre - I warn you in advance. This is a Will Ferrell film that's entirely in Spanish...entirely in Spanish.  SPANISH. It's also absolutely hilarious and must've been a blast to make. Ferrell plays the slightly stupid and cowardly rancher son whose brother returns to save the ranch but also brings along loads of problems related to his drug-dealing business. Ferrell's brother also happens to bring along his fiance who falls in love with Ferrell as he becomes a hero and a man.
  
  The plot is ridiculous. The scenery is frequently openly and badly faked. The music and acting is over the top. Scenes are often filled out with mannequins instead of actors. The stunts are ridiculous. The timing is absurd.
  
  The movie is hilarious.
  
  
• Ultimate Comics Spider-Man: Scorpion - I'm really surprised at how strong an entry the Miles Morales Spider-Man has been over the past year. I shouldn't be, though, and it's helpful to read this in light of Marvel's announcement about the 616 Peter Parker. The only thing that matters is telling a good story. Every single thing we cared about, every single aspect of a great character is only important because there were great stories behind it, and we'll all be just fine - no matter the changes - as long as they keep telling great stories.
  
  And this is certainly a great set of a stories. Mile is finding his way as a slightly-younger-than-Peter-Parker-was-when-he-started Spider-Man, trying to honor the Peter Parker name while also finding his own way in the heroing world. In this volume Miles's uncle, a here-to-fore unheard of by us (but known to Nick Fury) super-thief, confronts Miles announcing that he knows who Miles is and how he got his powers. The uncle then offers to train Miles while also pointing out which villains Miles can take care of - conveniently and unbeknownst to Miles the very ones who are challenging his uncle's territory. It's a trope that we've seen before, but it's so well told here that it feels fresh.
  
  This is great storytelling, folks.
• Saga - Brian Vaughan's latest creation is weird and freaky and moving and beautiful. It's a tough series to nail down in a review because it's a family tale (lovers from across battle lines have a child and have to run from hunters on both sides of the war) set in a mystical (spells and ghosts abound), science fiction (space travel, aliens) world.
  
  It's gorgeous and complex and takes a bit of trust to go with it until you understand what the heck is happening.
  
  It is also, I warn you, very much for adults. This isn't kiddy stuff as the language and sexual content keeps is solidly NC-17 (or at least a very solid R).
  
  You can check out a preview of issue 1 here...and a few images that I've chosen below.