Breaking down the bracket

From xkcd last week...

Left column, from the top down...round one...

• Neil over Louis Armstrong (walked on the moon wins almost every time)
• Stretch over Lance Armstrong (one-ball cheated)
• Bridges over Jeff Gordon (at least that's what the Earnhart fans say)
• Jack over Jeff Daniels (Gentleman wins)
• Orson over HG Wells (love Citizen Kane)
• George Orwell over Wells Fargo (1984 is stunning)
• Kurt Russell over Russell Brand, Crowe, and Simmons (on the basis of Tombstone and Wyatt Erp)
• Richard over Gene Simmons (meh)
• Alan Rickman over Hugh Jackman and Gene Hackman (toughest call yet)
• Alan Parsons over Alan Partridge (better project)
• Eugene McCarthy over Jenny, Joseph, and Eugene V Debs (ventriloquist for the win)
• Gene Wilder over Olivia and Oscar Wilde (though Olivia is way prettier)
• Oscar de la Hoya over Renta (boxing hits fashion)
• Jack Nicholson over Nicklaus (Jack!)
• Phil Mickelson over Nicholas Nickleby (real over fiction)
• Ryan over Bryan Adams (le enfant terible)
• Chubby Checker over Fats Domino
• Collin Farrell over Firth (Firth's too proper)
• Will Ferrell over the Farrelly Brothers (one is better than two)
• Joseph Godron-Levitt over Jennifer Love Hewitt (though JLH is pretty)
• Donald over Danny Glover (and I'm not being Childish here)
• Mark over Donnie Wahlberg (say hello to your mother)
• Ruffalo over Mark Shuttleworth (who?)

Second round, same side...

• Neil over Stretch Armstrong (moon man walks on)
• Jeff Bridges over Jack Daniels (the Dude continues to abide)
• Orson Wells over George Orwell (Orwell had one work, Orson had many)
• Kurt Russell over Richard Simmons (in a romp)
• Rickman over Parsons (it's Hans frickin' Gruber)
• Gene Wilder over Oscar de la Hoya (creepier Willy Wonka)
• Jack Nicholson over Phil Mickelson (he'd drink Phil under the table, too)
• Ryan Adams over Chubby Checker (my fave here)
• Will Ferrell over Collin Farrell (more hits)
• Donald Glover over Mark Wahlberg (better music)

Third round, same side...

• Jeff Bridges over Orson Wells (tough call, though...both are multitalented)
• Alan Rickman over Kurt Russell (points off for "Sugar, Sugar")
• Gene Wilder over Eugene McCarthy (Wonka creams him)
• Jack Nicholson over Ryan Adams (Jack was wilder by far and cooler)
• Joseph Gordon-Levitt over Will Ferrell (JGL has been more consistently awesome)
• Donald Glover over Mark Ruffalo (no hulking out here) 

 Fourth round, same side...

• Neil Armstrong over Jeff Bridges (the fickin' moon!)
• Alan Rickman over Gene Wilder (also the voice of God)
• Joseph Gordon-Levitt over Donald Glover (Glover's too inexperienced to go further)

Fifth round, left side still...

• Neil Armstrong over Alan Rickman (Rickman just plays being awesome)
• Jack Nicholson over Joseph Gordon-Levitt (it pains me, though)

Semifinals, left side...

• Neil Armstrong over Jack Nicholson (seriously, to the moon, man)

 Right side...from the top...

• Bill Paxton over Phillip and Bill Pullman (fodder for the next round)
• Bull Murray over Dan Akroyd (oddly not named at all similarly)
• Fred Rogers over Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers (not even in the same Neighborhood)
• Mr Spock over Doctors Spock and Octopus (too cool for this)
• Docton Manhattan over Strangelove or Strange (Manhattan was a God)
• The Doctor over No and Doctrow (He is a time lord)
• Jerry Lewis over Lee (wrote, directed, starred)
• Jenny Lewis over Xeni Jardin (had to look up Boing Boing)
• Chris Evans over Hemsworth (played two superheroes vs played one)
• Pratt over Chris Pine (Captain Kirk can't quite make it here)
• Shallots over Scallops (chewy) and scallions (garnish)
• Souzanne Vega over Souxsie Sioux (too hard to spell)
• Arnold Palmer over Tom Arnold and Amanda Palmer (Jack before Jack was Jack)
• Anderson over Wes Craven (no nightmare here)
• Paul Thomas Anderson over Poul Anderson (had to look Poul up)
• Raleigh over Sir Walter Scott (prefer the name)
• Frank over Sir Francis (science rules)
• Halen over Vans Morrison or Wilder (Hagar, really)
• Robert over Rip Van Winkle (dun dun dun dunnu dun dun - tss)
• Natalie Imbruglia over Rip Torn (funny stuff)
• The Body Shop over Bath and Body Works (is there a difference, really?)
• Bed Bath and Beyond over Beyond Thunderdome (We don't need another hero)

Next round, right side, from the top...

• Bill Murray kills Bill Paxton (our early favorite on the far weaker side)
• Fred Rogers over Mister Spock (niceness over logic)
• The Doctor over Doctor Manhattan (tough call, though)
• Jerry over Jenny Lewis (she's a one-note pony)
• Pratt over Chris Evans (funny guy)
• Shallots over Suzanne Vega (garlic and onion together in one package)
• Wes over Paul Thomas Anderson (more great films, though Punch Drunk Love is a fave)
• Sir Francis Drake over Sir Walter Raleigh (I really have no idea what any of them did)
• Van Halen over Robert Van Winkle (Vanilla Ice comes up against the real deal)
• Bed Bath and Beyond over The Body Shop (far creepier place)

Third round, I think, right side...

• Fred Rogers over The Doctor (kindness is more eternal)
• Jerry Lewis over Chris Pratt (check out his appearance on Mad About You)
• Shallots over Arnold Palmer (his drink isn't to my taste...gimme a John Daly)
• Wes Anderson over Sir whoever we have left (I know what he did)
• Van Halen over Natalie Imbruglia (two great singers over one great song)
• Bed Bath and Beyond over Beyonce (upset, but Bey doesn't really do much for me)

Fourth round, I guess...

• Bill Murray over Fred Rogers (no one will ever believe you)
• Shallots over Wes Anderson (I hope they taste better)
• Van Halen over Bed Bath and Beyond (even if one lead singer gets lost...)

Quarterfinals, right side...

• Bill Murray over Chris Pratt (weirder dude, funnier, too)
• Van Halen over Shallots (shallots get chopped)

Semifinals

• Bill Murray over Van Halen (seriously, no one will ever believe you) 

The final...

• Neil Armstrong downs Bill Murray (Bill Murray is weird and funny and brilliant...Neil is a national treasure)