Lonnieburger Baskets: Five Guys Burgers and Fries

It's about time I hit a place that everybody should have available to them.  Well, everybody in the eastern half of the country, anyway.

Here's you chance to see where my tastes fall in comparison to yours.

Mine are, of course, right.

There's a few Five Guys Burgers and Fries around this area, and I hit up the West Chester location.  In addition to being the closest location to my house, it also has the advantage of being the largest Five Guys in the area as they use it for training of many of their newest employees.

Let's hit it...

Burger

• The Five Guys patties are a quarter pound each, and the standard burger comes with two patties.  That's a half pound of pre-cooked weight and is more than pretty much anybody needs at any point.  Thankfully they offer a smaller version with just one patty.
  
  The patties are similar to a Wendy's burger, simply griddled and a little um...moist (I don't want to say greasy, but they are a little that, too).  The burgers are tasty but not much better than a standard fast food burger that you would get at McDonalds or Wendy's.  There's no dark crust, and the patties are flattened on the griddle.  Actually, a Steak and Shake burger would be a better comparison, but the Stake and Shake burgers are allowed to get crispy edges that make a big difference in the patty taste.
  
  They aren't bad patties, but they just aren't far above average for a restaurant like this.  Burger - 6

Toppings

• This is the first area where Five Guys shines.  Their menu lists sixteen toppings that are offered without any upcharge.  I'm a bacon and cheese (they're extra), grilled onion, mustard, ketchup, tomato, pickle, and lettuce.  The Girl - on this day - went for mushroom, bacon, and a few jalapenos.
  
  The bacon is - oddly - deep fried meaning it's nicely crisp and consistently well done.  The rest of the topping are heaped on with gusto.  They aren't skimping on any of the toppings here.  Such gusto, in fact, that the buns can't really hold up to a glutton like me, but we'll get to that in the "other info" section.
  
  I am, as always, annoyed when the cheese isn't melted onto my burger but rather added on after the burger is cooked.  C'mon, folks, how hard would it be to throw the cheese on when you flip the burger?
  
  And, I'd like an option of having banana peppers on my burger.  The jalapenos tend to be all over the place - too hot one day, barely warm the next.  Banana peppers are a much more consistently but not overly source of heat.  Toppings - 8

Fries

• This is where Five Guys really shines.  Their fries come in a regular - enough for two - or a large - enough for three or four to share.  The fries are cut fresh every day and fried in peanut oil then loaded into a paper cup with a huge amount of extras thrown into the bag atop the foil-wrapped burgers.
  
  The fries are outstanding, served hot, simply salted, rough cut with the skin left on, slightly but not overly greasy.  These are what fries should be like everywhere. 
  
  The cajun seasoning option provides a nice bit of spice but is overly salty, as if 'cajun seasoning' meant 'seasoning salt'.  That's an option, however, so I'm not docking them for the cajun saltiness. Fries - 10

Ambiance

• I'll admit right off the bat that I hate the whole peanut-shells-on-the-floor thing.  Drives me bonkers.  Thankfully, the West Chester location is typically pretty clear of the shells even though they do offer the standard Five Guys bin of peanuts with paper boats for scooping.  This does seem a reasonable - and fairly cheap, I would imagine - stopgap tactic to let you kill the time while they make your burger and fries fresh - something I do appreciate on balance.
  
  I've been to a number of Five Guys locations now, and I'm okay with the white and red tile walls, the numerous hanging signs singing the praises of Five Guys, the simple - and always slightly slippery - tile floors.  The restaurants are - by design - simple, empty boxes with no permanent fixtures other than the front door and the ordering counter.  The tables can be slid around anywhere.  The lines to the counter are formed by pallets of peanuts, potatoes, and peanut oil - all supplies that are, I'm thinking, used in the course of a regular work week.  Because of this, the stores are entirely modular but end up all looking relatively the same. 
  
  It's not a bad thing.  It's just a plain thing. Ambiance - 5

Cost

• My bacon cheeseburger with all the toppings was $5.89.  I could've gotten by with a 'little bacon cheeseburger' which would've been $4.49.  A regular order of fries costs $2.79, so I'll take half of that as my own - $1.40 (rounded up).  A Diet Coke sets ya back $1.89.  Those refills are, of course, free. 
  
  That's a grand total of $9.18.  Not much below the average price I'm looking for.  For a fast food joint with no wait staff, that's kind of a bummer to me.  Cost - 6

Other stuff

• The Girl loves carbonated water, and the Five Guys soda fountains offer that as an option.  +1
• The cheese isn't melted.  Seriously, if you've read all of these reviews, you're probably starting to realize just how much this bugs me. -1 
• They're amazingly generous with fries and toppings.  That's worth an extra couple of points. +2 
• The buns, however, can't possibly hold up to those toppings.  Mine fell apart and left me - as it always does at Five Guys - trying to hold the escaping bits between my fingers and not between the buns.  Arrgh.  It's easy enough to grill the buns a little so that they have some hope of standing up to the copious amounts of toppings. -1

Let's see where all that gets us...36 points for Five Guys Burgers and Fries.

• Terry's Turf Club - 45
• Cafe de Wheels - 44
• Five Guys Burgers and Fries - 36
• VanZandt - 34
• Quatman's - 32 / 34.5
• Graffiti Burger - 27
• Sammy's - 26
• Arthur's - 26

Since I'm guessing most of you have been to a Five Guys somewhere, I'm curious as to what you think of their rankings and my review of them.

Next up, Gabby's in Wyoming.  Good burger, decent fries.  More details to come on Monday.