The Girl and I don't have any kids, but we have two cute dogs. The fool on the left is Hollis (named after the outstanding Christmas tune "Christmas in Hollis"), and the fat girl on the right is Clementine (named before us but fitting the song-dog theme with "Darling Clementine").
Feel free to go 'awwww' any time now.
Admittedly, Hollis looks kind of like a special child there, but he's not. He's a tough little mug.