Lonnieburger Baskets: Gordo's

Gordo's in Norwood made the Cincinnati Magazine list of best burgers last year, admittedly, down at #35...

#35 Gordo’s Burger
GORDO’S PUB AND GRILL
$8
►This modest pub serves an immodestly sized, bulbous burger stacked with roasted poblano chilies, sautéed mushrooms, onions, smoked bacon, garlicky Boursin cheese, and mayonnaise. It’s a good burger that would have been a great burger had the medium rare we ordered not been served well done. / 4328 Montgomery Rd., Norwood, (513) 351-1999

#35 may not be the tops, but it's nothing to sneeze at either, and when Gordo's opened a location attached to Jungle Jim's, we thought we'd hit the local rather than traveling on down to Norde. Admittedly, the new location has only been rolling for a couple of weeks, so there might be some bugs to work out, but we didn't hit 'em on the opening weekend. Sadly, their patio isn't open yet (not that it mattered on this rainy day.) Plus, the eponymous cook/chef is going to be cooking at the new location for the first three months.

See that guy on the left, the one in the Reds hat? That's Gordo. Let's see how he did...

Burger

• Gordo's website describes their burgers as "A Half Pound of Lean Ground Beef Mixed with Bacon, Onion Compote and Mixed Herbs". Well, that sounds just delicious: onions, bacon, and herbs mixed in with the meat itself.
  
  Sadly, however, I didn't notice any of that in the burger that I tried. What I got was a burger patty that tasted like ground beef and not much anything else. The meat was tightly formed together - the exact opposite of the loosely-packed burgers of Smashburger from last week - and relatively bland. In my entire burger patty, there was only one bite that had any significant flavor to it, suggesting that perhaps a bit more mixing might've helped Gordo's burger making operation. I would be reluctant to suggest that, however, as our burgers were actually a bit chewy perhaps a sign of already having been overworked. The Girl had a bit more flavor to her actual burger patty, but she agreed with the chewy description.
  
  The best description that I could give the Gordo burger patties was that they tasted like meatloaf, something I'm definitely not looking for in a burger. Burger - 5 

 Toppings

• Being the diligent and faithful soul that I am, I went for Gordo's pub burger with bacon added (an extra $1). Sadly, they don't offer cheddar cheese, so I settled for an American single. Mine was the top photo. Ooh, with shredded lettuce, mostly melted cheese, thinly sliced onions (only on the left side, though), and two slices of pedestrian bacon. Nothing special to see here at all...keep moving, folks...
  
  The Girl went with the Gordo's burger which has "Roasted Poblanos, Mushrooms, Onions, Smoked Bacon, Boursin Cheese and Mayonnaise". Sorry, she doesn't like mayo or onions. It may be smoked bacon and all, but it certainly wasn't anything special or worth a whole buck for two pieces. The mushrooms, the peppers, the white cheese squished down for what The Girl described as "all right". Such a ringing endorsement. Toppings - 5

Fries

• Plank fries...steak fries...stale fries...big chunks of salt, but not enough salt... pepper but no actual taste of pepper...warmth at the beginning (clearly thanks to the heat lamp)...spongy middle...blech...Fries - 4

Ambiance

• I almost feel bad reviewing the ambiance in Gordo's because there wasn't any. The floors are poured concrete. The tables are successfully tabular. There aren't any booths. or carpet or anything soft surfaced. The walls are, indeed, painted. Those walls have some paintings - some of which seem to have something in common with each other - and some televisions - a couple of which have the setting correct so that the image matches the size of the television itself. The restrooms do have doors,but the little restroom entry alcove has floor-length curtains, as do the two doorways into and out of the kitchen. The curtains look cheap.
  
  This clearly is a place that was ready to open based on the fact that there's a kitchen and tables and food, but the entirety of the feeling of the restaurant is of a place opened on the cheap or without any attention paid to the look of the place.
  
  The best thing I can say about the ambiance is that there's a bar. There was, indeed, a guy at the bar while we were there. The ambiance isn't offensive but it's just absent. Ambiance - 4

Cost

• Burger $8 + bacon $1 + fries (included) + diet coke $2 = $11...that's a point down from the straight middle...Cost - 4

Other stuff

• They have a spectacularly thorough beer list. +1
• No cheddar cheese. -1 
• To quote The Girl, "our food took and awfully long time to get there." We sat down in Gordo's just before 1:30 on a Wednesday. We intentionally waited until after the lunch rush, so we only saw three tables occupied - including ours - and our food took about twenty minutes to get to our table. The Girl is entirely right. -1
• I ordered my burger cooked medium. The Girl did, too. Our burgers were closer to medium well. This is apparently a problem with Gordo's burgers as Cincinnati Magazine pointed out (and as I copied up top.) -1

This doesn't look good...Gordo's Pub & Grill got 20 points. That's really not good.

• Terry's Turf Club - 45
• Cafe de Wheels - 44
• Senate - 43
• Five Guys Burgers and Fries - 36 
• Roxy's - 36
• VanZandt - 34
• Gabby's - 34 
• Oakley Pub & Grill - 34 
• Quatman's - 32 / 34.5
• Troy's - 32 
• Wildflower Cafe - 31.25 (scaled from 26/40) 
• The Pub at Rookwood Mews - 28
• Smashburger - 28
• Habits Cafe - 28
• Graffiti Burger - 27
• Arthur's - 26
• Sammy's - 25 
• Gordo's - 20

Let's not talk of this again.