February 25, 2009

Why drivers ed shouldn't use Mario Kart simulators

I've gotten all my gold trophies on each of the four levels (50cc, 100cc, 150cc, and mirror).

I've unlocked most of the characters with only two more question marks to fill in (Dry Bowser, Rosalina, and the second Mii outfit), and I've unlocked a whole bunch of karts.

I've got one- or two-star ratings on all the 50cc circuits and all but one of the 100cc circuits. 150cc's'll come next after I finish up the 100's, then on to the mirror, but I'm guessing that'll be a while.

And I'm using the manual like nobody's business.

Heck, I even avoided my first blue shell this weekend.

Now, if I could just stop thinking that I can drive my real car the way I drive my Mario Kart, I'd be good to go.

I didn't used to think about cutting left around the round-about because it'd be quicker.

I didn't used to think about hitting the b-trigger when I was hitting a looping highway off-ramp.

I didn't use to think about cutting the corner up on the sidewalk on Creek Road in Sharonville on the way back from the library.

I didn't used to think about pulling back on my steering wheel whenever I saw a speed bump.

Now I do all of those.

I don't act on the thoughts. That'd be crazy.

But I totally think them.

Oh, and to those of you who'd like to race me, I've tried the Mario Kart Channel a few times, and my router's signal is such crap that I haven't made it through a full race yet. Once I get that issue cleared up, I'll throw my Wii # out there for everybody to roll me.


Bdubba said...

this post made me chuckle b/c I can totally relate!!! I'm waiting patiently on the router issue......

achilles3 said...

That's why I stopped playing video games about 10 years ago. I was worried about the crazy thoughts being embedded Matrix style into my brain.
Now I just read Nietzsche ;-)

Katydid said...

The boy and I have been getting in some fierce races on the Nintendo 64 lately. I can barely play with a controller, so I'd hate to see what a steering wheel would be like.

joey said...

the library back entrance is totally a mario kart shortcut... i never really noticed that...

oh and if you are talking about the roundabout in vineyard to go from PCMS area to Best Buy etc. i totally cut the short way every time.... im bad to the bone

wv: conter, the redneck contour

PHSChemGuy said...

Bdubba - it'll likely be summer before I get around to that project.

Lakes - I'm all down with Mario Kart going straight into my brain. It makes me a more aggressive driver.

Katydid - and I've never used the controller without the wheel. No clue what that would be like.

Joey - The library is a great shortcut if you've got a mushroom, but that's about it.

Yes, it's the roundabout at Vineyard. I cut the corner for the first time a couple of weeks ago - no stop, no pause, just rolled.