Lonnieburger Baskets: Gaffiti Burger (Columbus)

Calen and I were up in Columbus for a material science workshop.

Second-year material science workshop...'cause we're hardcore like that.

Yes, we were asked to come back and help out next year as trainee instructors, but that's not why I'm here today.

While we were in Colubus, instead of hitting up Pizza Patt's place ('cause we forgot it even existed until we got back in Cincy), I rooked Calen into helping me out with BurgerQuest 2010 (and probably '11, too).  So, on the recommendation of Restaurant Widow, we took a little jaunt over to Graffiti Burger's location in Granview kinda near the main campus of an Ohio State University.

So, let's see how Graffiti Burger stacks up to the the best of the Cincinnati area...

Burger

• That thing right there is a regular Angus Burger.  It's a half pound of - according to their menu - Angus beef.  (I'm not entirely sure whether Angus beef is anything more than bunk, by the way.)  At Graffiti Burger, their regular is a two quarter-pound patties making for an admittedly sizeable burger for $4.99.  It's also nicely fried on the griddle, but it didn't taste like much of anything special.  It's a good patty, and it's well made, but it's neither crisply enough griddled nor thick enough to keep the center moist.  Good but not great.  Burger - 6

Toppings

• Go back and check out that first photo up above.  The cheese isn't melted there.  Seriously, how the heck do you not throw the cheese on the burger with enough time on the griddle to melt the cheese?
  
  Sorry, ranting...in general, I wasn't a fan of the toppings at Graffiti Burger.  The lettuce was shredded.  The onions were fine and dandy.  The tomato was a good one but not a high-quality summer tomato.  The pickles were, however, pretty tasty - nice, long slices of garlic dills crossed over the burger.  The bacon should've been crisper but did have decent flavor. 
  
  The bun was decently fresh and nicely griddled before being slapped on everything.
  
  I can't speak to Calen's cole slaw topping there.  I'll let her throw in her $.02 (I miss the cent symbol on the keyboard) in the comments.  Toppings - 5

Fries

• They're freshly cut and nicely fried.  Little on the greasy side of where they should be and a little less done than my choice would be.  Could use a little more salt.  I like the homestyle thing with the skin still on and the fries nice and long.  Good stuff but not quite perfect.  Overall, a solid side dish.  Fries - 6

Ambiance

• I can't speak about all the Graffiti Burger locations, just the Grandview one, and thankfully some other folks took pictures inside because I forgot to.  The last one there isn't actually the Grandview location, but it's about the same style and shows the general feeling of the place I went to.  The graffiti style works overall.  The place is clean - except that the floor had a weird slipperiness to it - not necessarily greasy but slick.  It bugged me.  Graffiti Burger had a strip-mall feel overall.
  
  I like the graffiti.  I don't feel much for the overall feel.  Ambiance - 5

Cost

• The burger is $4.99 (though I'd feel good getting the smaller, $3.99, single-patty version).  I went for 1/4 lb of fries for $1.79.  The diet Coke was $1.79, too.  I added in $1 worth of bacon to the burger, but it was - supposedly - applewood smoked bacon.  That brought my total to $9.57.  No tip needed, though, because it's an order-at-the-counter kinda place. Cost - 5

Other Stuff

• Love the strong ties to OSU in a Columbus restaurant but more than just hanging up a jersey.  I combination of freaky, evil Tressel and South Park Tressel is awesome.  The Golden Bear, too.  That's strong stuff.  +1
• The cheese wasn't melted.  I don't know if you could tell, but that bugs me. -2
• Go back and check out all the graffiti photos.  Did you notice that one of them shows a cow with a straw drinking out of it's own udder?  I'm guessing that's because their milkshakes are supposed to be pretty good.  That's frickin' sick, man.  Every time I see a pig advertising for a barbecue place, I'm icked out, but I like this one.  +1
• The other thing that Graffiti Burger is known for is milkshakes.  I can't speak to them but the woman who went with me and Calen said it was pretty good.  They're freshly made with each order which is certainly a plus.  +/- 0 because I didn't try one myself

So, our total is 27 points for Graffiti Burger.  That puts it smack in the middle of a bunch of other places that aren't anything special.  Yeah, it's a decent burger, but this isn't one that I'll crave or that I'll be clamoring to return for.  I'm a little doubtful about how the heck Restaurant Widow thought this placed earned 4.75 fries (out of 5) when Terry's only got a 5 out of 5.  If this place is a 4.75 on a 5 scale, Terry's is a twelve out of the same five.

• Terry's Turf Club - 45
• Cafe de Wheels - 44
• VanZandt - 34
• Quatman's - 32 / 34.5
• Graffiti Burger - 27
• Sammy's - 26
• Arthur's - 26