Advice, part 3: Give

Let's see...it's Saturday, and we've got work to do 'round here...here's some advice...

Give

My first bump with giving and charity wasn't exactly a wonderful and truly altruistic one. Instead, my dad was told by one of his coworkers - a principal, maybe, a counselor, perhaps - that I needed to add some charity work to my high school resume if I wanted to get better scholarship or to truly compete for any sort of honors. "Get him some volunteer work, Bob," they said. So, off to the local recycling center, I went. Every couple of weeks, I headed to crunch plastic bottles, to throw grocery bags of newspaper, and to try to hold down the hurl instinct that came from the smell of sour milk in dozens and dozens of milk jugs.

I was there to get something, not to give, and therein lies the twin secrets to this week's bit of hubris: Give because giving is good and give whether you're giving for the right reasons or not.

That bit of giving back in my high school days didn't take a huge hold, but in college I gave a little more here and there: broadcasting for 24 hours on radio and supposedly trying to raise money in the process, volunteering with kids who had trouble reading.

And then came Princeton. The single thing in my life of which I have been the proudest is my involvement in the Pasta for Pennies campaign. In my few years running that campaign (with some help, admittedly, from a great friend), I have come to giving very late in life, but I feel that I have begun to embrace it wholeheartedly.

It wasn't anything intentional, really. I signed up because I was willing to make a fool out of myself in front of my students. I don't know that it was any sort of altruistic gesture but rather a bit of fluff and fun - nasty-looking fun, but fun. Then the next year - because two of my new friends at the new job were involved and seemed to be having fun - I got a little more involved. Then the next year I stepped in as co-campaign-leader-in-waiting.

Since then I've thrown myself into the giving as fully as I can. I've taken to volunteering outside of the campaign - at the Light the Night Walk, at next month's Taste of the World, at last month's Oktoberfest. And, amazingly, it's starting to feel really good.

It doesn't matter whether you're giving because you want to build your resume or because you really care about the cause. Either way, the people you're helping can use the help. And there are lots and lots of people and causes who can use the help.

So, here's my specific, suggested actions:

1. Ask friends around to see if they volunteer. (If you're going with friends, you'll have fun. If you're having fun, you'll go again.)
2. If they don't, keep asking 'til you find one.
3. Ask if you can join in and help out next time they are.
4. Have fun. If you don't, try something else with a different friend.
5. Repeat until it sticks.
6. Once you find one you enjoy, start bringing a few friends of your own.

It's simple. Giving should be fun, and if it's not, keep giving until it is.