Advice, part 5: Deal

Bit of a short bit of advice this weekend as it's a rather busy weekend between last night's HFS dance, tonight's PHS homecoming, and tomorrow's volunteering at the Bengals' game. So...

Deal

Let's be honest, crappy stuff happens to everybody, and often it happens at what seems like the worst of possible times. Your car won't start on the one morning that you're already running late for that big presentation. You're almost ready for the big dance, and your face picks today to betray you with a giant zit right in the center of your forehead. You're getting your house resided, and the guys tell you that your chimney's going to collapse unless they rebuild the whole thing.

First, remember that bad things happen all the time - we just notice them most when we're already stressed because of something else. I really doubt that there's some sort of all-powerful diety who is taking the time to watch you through all your days and just wait for the right moment to throw down the banana peels. So, stop moping and thinking that you're somehow the most unlucky person ever.

You're not. You're just a person like the rest of us.

Next, let it go. Just let the anger and pitty and other crap that comes with the bad luck go. There's nothing to be done other than to deal with it. Suck it up, scrap the dropped cake off the floor, call work to tell them you'll be a little late (they'll understand because it's happened to them before, too), change your clothes to get the strawberry icing stains off of you, and head in as best you can.

Moping and crabbing about it isn't going to get things right any more quickly, and it's just going to piss of the people who'd otherwise be willing to help you and cut you some slack. Instead, shrug things off and move on.

Even if it is something legitimately horrible, it, too, shall pass. You'll get through whatever it is. Give yourself something else to do, get your mind occupied by something else. Set some sort of moping timetable. Give yourself a week to mope and cry, and tell everybody about that. But add in that after the week's done, you're going to suck it up and deal. Make sure to tell them about that part, too, so they can remind you when the week's up, so they can help out and get you headed in a healthier direction.

And while you're at it, let the people who care about you help you when you are in a bit of a downturn. They care about you and honestly want to help out. If you are too stubborn to accept help, you'll never really know just how many people are in your corner.

All of us have bad luck and good luck. The man who persists through the bad luck - who keeps right on going - is the man who is there when the good luck comes - and is ready to receive it. - Robert Collier