Wonderfulputt

I'm a sucker for minigolf games, and Wonderputt is a great example as it has great variation in holes, creative challenges, and beautiful visuals. Now I just have to complete the rainbow.

Kiddie Fun at the Web

The Kroger folks built a giant new store near us a few years back.  In doing that, however, they went ahead and closed an older, smaller store not even a mile from the new store.  From two years, that old store site sat empty - until The Web opened.

The Web is the main location of a group of Laser Tag and miniature golf fun centers, and it replaced the original location of Laser Web on Route 4 in Fairfield.  It's been open since this past summer, and I've driven by it a number of times thinking "hey, I should try that out.  However, it wasn't until The Web showed up on Groupon ($6 for $14 worth of entertainment), that I actually got around to trying out The Web.

The Girl and I showed up at The Web early on a slow Friday evening.  Apparently 4:30 on a Friday isn't a terribly big time at The Web because we were one of only four cars in the near part of the overlarge former Kroger parking lot.  We went directly to the front desk and just opened with asking what we could get for our $14 credit.  The Web's pricing works on three pricing schemes:

• Premium attractions (laser tag and go carts) - $8 for one, $14 for two, $18 for three
• Standard attractions (mini golf and mini bowling) - $4 for one, $7 for two, $9 for three
• Other games (Guitar Hero, skee ball, air hockey, stacker, and more) based on credits & tokens

The way we chose to maximize our $14 was to each play mini-golf (Jurassic Par, I swear) and mini bowling (Hang Ten, seriously). which took care of exactly that $14.  Next time we'll go for go carts and just pay the extra $2.

Up first, Jurassic Par.  Man, that's a horribly punnish name for a miniature golf course - even if it is decorated with fiberglass dinosaurs all over the place.  The course is a nine-hole course in the standard indoor style of largely black carpeted holed dimly lit by fluorescent and black lights.  The holes are bordered by brick pavers (square bricks for the straightaways and wedge-shaped bricks for the curves.  The first hole is marked with a plaque stating the the holes were manufactured by a Wisconson company, and I'm assuming that the whole thing was largely bought as a kit and then somewhat customized to match the kit.

The holes are raised about four inches above the carpeted floor of the building so that they play as raised islands in a sea of carpet with dinosaurs and weird rock-plant-brick areas spaced among them.  Each hole begins with a bright carpeted tee area followed by a much darker - but still mottled - carpeted main area.  here and there are areas that play almost like sand traps and carpeted like the tee boxes.

The tee boxes roll without ridges to the rest of the holes (something that has been a problem at a couple of other indoor courses I've played.)  The first few hole rely on shape of the holes and contours of the carpet to provide the difficulties.  On an outdoor course, this would work well because the contours would show up well in bright light.  With a poorly-lit indoor course, this just means that the ball is doing things that you have no clue it was going to do when you hit it.

See that hole there to the left (it's hole #2 or #3 - I can't remember which)?  The slightly darker area to the right is a slope to the right.  It's certainly not easy to see that unless you squat down and look for it.  Even when you do see the lower area, it's tough to tell just how low it is or how much the ball will break to the right as it goes through that area.  That's kind of a problem and one that is created by the design of the entire course and space.

The latter holes still have this problem but add in a few obstacles that make things tougher but not any more entertaining.  There's a bamboo-roofed house that you have to hit through, a loop-the-loop, a weird metal plate with guides, fiberglass stumps and logs and rocks.  The weird part for some of the middle holes, however, is that they have two holes for which you can aim.  There's no explanation given as to whether one is harder or easier, whether one is worth a bonus, or why the heck they're there in the first place.  It just seems to be a random thing that goes against pretty much everything that golf is.

You can see the wedge paver edging there to the right and see that it wouldn't give a true bounce a lot of the time, something that a lot less troublesome than the two holes, hard to read contours, and even the non-smooth entry to the loop the loop that means it's tough to hit it hard enough to get through the loop without launching it off the entire hole (it took The Girl a half dozen tries to get through the loop, and she was actually trying). 

Overall, I would say that the holes are challenging where they shouldn't be, easy where they aren't supposed to be, and poorly designed for the space.  Instead of making highly efficient use of the space that they have (like Monster Mini-Golf), The Web has instead wasted much of their space with stupid dinosaur decorations and lots of walking-around room between the holes.

Plus, the course is only nine holes long.  Even at $4 a round (fairly cheap for a round of mini-golf around these parts), it's not a good value.

But the dinosaurs are kinda cute.

I don't understand, however, why the toes of the dinos are bent up so drastically.  Was that something that those types of dinos actually had?

Seriously, that seems kinda messed up to me.

Check out the toes while I keep typing how freaked out the toes left us long enough to make sure that this green dino photo isn't lined up with the orange one.

Which it isn't now.

We wrapped up our round of Jurassic Par golf by dropping our golf balls into a sort of plinko game with a third of the pegs missing and from which we could win absolutely no prizes.  Yay!

The Hang Ten bowling was actually a bit more entertaining as we bowled a full ten frames each, taking two lanes next to each other rather than alternating on the same lane.  To some extent we did wait for each other to bowl but didn't have to switch back and forth for every other frame.  The Hang Ten bowling is a miniaturized bowling alley with six shrunken lanes.  Each pair of lanes has five rainbow-colored balls between them.  The balls are lighter and smaller than normal bowling balls - weighing in at around three or four pounds but feeling heavier because they are very dense.  The balls are small enough that The Girl and I could both bowl one-handed very easily but heavy enough that small children would certainly need two hands.

The option to raise bumpers appears when the game is activated via a card sweep, and we chose not to go with the bumpers (tempting though the option was).  The did mean that I did throw a couple of gutter balls as it was a bit tough at first to get the balls rolling straight because they were so light relative to standard bowling balls.  Once I figured out that I was better off bowling from a squat and ending up on one knee rather than trying from a full upright pose - the short balls cradled in my hand ended up with a much higher release point than standard bowling balls that hang down from the fingers - I was much more successful and managed a couple of strikes in a row even, finishing just into the triple digits with my final score (twenty higher than The Girl).

The Web also has a Laser Tag arena with two-story forts, a viewing area, black lights, faux cobwebs, and science fiction decorations. Laser Tag isn't my thing, so we won't be trying that one with our $14.

There's an indoor go-kart track at the back of the space, only one car of which was out and racing while we were there.  The cars look well maintained, almost like new, and the barricades on the course look like they've barely ever been hit.  The karts must be electric (I just checked their webpage, they are electric) because there isn't the faintest whiff of gasoline in the place.  I don't know how many laps you get to run for your $7, but it is nice that the karts have spaces for children to ride beside their parents (for an extra $1).  The course has a decent number of twists and turns, but not much of a straight away to gain speed before needing to slow down into the turn.

We'll be trying to karts next time with our $14 (and an extra $2).  I doubt we'll try any of the ancillary games - air hockey, Guitar Hero, skee ball, or any of the other Chuck E Cheese-style games (stacker, token pusher, and a bunch more).  Except for air hockey, the rest of the games are ticket dispensers which can (a la Chuck E Cheese) be redeemed for various prizes at the shop near the front of the The Web space.

Up near the front of The Web, there's also a pretty nondescript ice cream parlor that serve Aglamesis Brothers ice cream.  Near the middle of the space is a small food court that serves Noble Roman's pizza and some other sandwiches, fries, and simple snack items.  There are also three party rooms for rent near the go-kart track.  These rooms are very plain and clean with seats for sixteen, hand sanitizer, and a side counter (I'm guessing the counter has simple plastic cutlery and plates in the various drawers.)  On the evening that we were at The Web, two of the three rooms already had birthday cakes and presents in place waiting for the guests that started to arrive as we were leaving The Web (sorry, I just love typing The Web).

All in all, The Web is the kind of place that little kids would love.  The attractions are too undersized to be anything that would draw adults looking for anything challenging.  Most of the games aren't for the tiniest of little ones.  But the place would be an absolute heaven for kids in the sort of five to maybe thirteen years old range.  There are five levels of parties depending on the attractions and extras that each party guest gets.  I'm guessing that lots of kids in that middle range would be an absolute blast.

For me, however, I'm pretty sure that we won't be returning to The Web after we use our two Groupons.


Oh, I did get a hole in one on the fourth hole of Jurassic Par, however, so we can officially consider my round a success.

The goggles do nothing...nothing...

Good to see John Daly back in contention at the British Open.  He's had a rough go for a...

Oh My God!

My eyes...my eyes...

For some reason, I'm hungry for skittles now.

Oh, and if anybody's curious, John Daly's fashions are courtesy of Loudmouth Golf, and I'm particularly fond of this print which also comes in a sports coat.

Updating the Update: Monster Mini-Golf (part II)

Photos are now up on the Monster Mini-Golf update.

Check 'em...they're awesome...

Update: Monster Mini-Golf (part II)

As I had promised, I revisited Monster Mini-Golf in West Chester at the urgings of Tony (who I'm guessing is actually Anthony Smith, franchise owner).

Turns out that his claim that "[they] have made lots of changes since your first visit" wasn't a hollow one.  They have actually added a number of additions to make the course a little more challenging.

First off, each hole now has a tee pad, something that I noted was a problem the first time.  When I first visited, the tee mats were a molded rubber monster/bear claw (seen faintly here).  Any putt from the tee pads had to roll off a distinct and significant (~1/4 inch) lip.  The tee pad itself was also uneven, having slightly raised parts where the pads of the paw would be found.  This lead to a very inconsistent departure from the tee pad.

Theses claw-shaped tee pads have been entirely banished, replaced instead with a simple carpet pad with bound edges and a thoroughly velcro-covered backing.  This simple change lead to a much truer initial roll to each hole.  The placement of a few of the tee pads still seemed questionable to me, effectively cutting off the opening three or four feet of some holes.  In an area where space is at a premium - the entire course takes up the back 1/2 to 2/3 of a strip mall location - this seems an odd choice.

The tee pad locations, have, however been well thought out as they provide some interesting paths through the course - often marked with a fluorescent arrow suggesting that the golfer putt below the coffin, up a ramp (more on that in a moment), or at a particular angle.  These arrows (see the ramp photo below to see one of the arrows) are far from prevalent - I only remember three of them in particular - but they do allow for some nice play options that might not otherwise be noticed.

Two of the holes have another addition, a spinner near the tee pad.  The spinner - something clearly designated with the Monster Mini Golf logo - that allows players to add another level of difficulty to the game.  Depending on where the spinner lands, the player may be required alter their game in one of six ways - including to putt with their eyes closed, roll their first shot instead of using the putter, putt with the putter handle, or to allow another player to be a living barricade by standing in one place on the hole (sufficiently away from the tee pad to still allow play).

I chose not to use the spinners and was assessed a stroke penalty by Calen who was keeping score for us.  While I may not care for the spinners, I can see that it would further the general party atmosphere that Monster Mini Golf is fostering.  Young golfers in particular would, I think, enjoy the spinner variety.  Thankfully, the spinners are restricted to just two of the eighteen holes.

The more significant changes to the course come with the addition of new barriers on some new holes.  The initial hole, for example, sees a significant breeze coming out of the "monster cage" behind the hole.  Any putt that would otherwise stop close to the hole is blown three or four feet from the hole rather than resting at gimme distance.  This "monster cage" was in place when The Girl and I initially played the course, but the breeze was apparently turned off, a significant change to the first hole.

The second hole, then, is also changed with the addition of a plastic ramp - about two and a half feet long, one foot up, one back down - in the optimum place for a first bank shot.  The ramp is easy enough to roll up and down - friction tape lines each slope, but the ramp does provide some much-needed variety in the otherwise monotonously level carpet throughout the course.

This added slope shows up again on one of the late holes in the form of a plastic dome around the hole.  The dome is decorated with a fluorescent red spiral and allows for no landing area at the top beside that at the bottom of the cup.  Any missed shot will come caroming down the slope.  The hill isn't ridiculously huge - probably no more than five or six inches in height.- but the variety in challenge is welcomed.

The two largest new challenges are on the ninth and seventeenth holes.  On the ninth, the previously U-shaped hole has been drastically improved with the addition of what looks like a skate ramp, allowing the first shot to cut through the U with the right angle and speed.  The ball travels up the ramp from the near side (conveniently marked with a glowing arrow) and down toward the hole, cutting off at least one stroke if successful - a great bonus to the course as I found the lack of options on how to play each hole repetitive and boring the first time.

The new challenge on the seventeenth hole wasn't operational when we visited - still being in the construction phase (though it was operational when I went back a week later to take the photos).  The new barricade is a skee ball game - named Skull Ball - which provides the players the option of hitting their first shot up the skee ball slope or avoiding the game entirely at the cost of a stroke or two.  Depending on how well the shot is struck - into the smallest skee ball ring being the best - there are four different paths that the ball will take.  The worst path is a minor hinderance as it puts the players in a place worse than they would have been had they hit a good first shot and avoided the skee ball game entirely.  The other three outcomes provide varying improvements, cutting at least a stroke and possibly two off the hole score.  The skee ball game was not yet operational - or even painted - and looked to be in need of some finishing touches, but I like the updating that the course is doing. 

The course continues to be immaculately maintained, looking as if it were just opened before we played our update round.  I still enjoy the decor - especially now that I see that each Monster Mini Golf location gets customization, allowing the semi-standard statuary to be customized for each locale.  (Check out the Indy location with Jared and Dave Letterman).  I'm a little disappointed to not get a Bengal or Red anywhere, but we do at least get a nice nod to the Fitworks next door.

I definitely enjoyed my second round at Monster Mini Golf far more than I did the first.

I'll happily return to this location.

There are two more - non-mini golf - items worth noting.

While we played one of the later holes, the host came on the intercom asking a trivia question.  He mentioned characters from a recent movie, providing more obvious characters as he went along, and asked which movie they all starred in.  When no one guessed New Moon or Twilight after a reasonable amount of time (probably a minute or so after the final clue was given) he gave the answer and stated that anyone who had come up with the correct answer would have gotten fifty dollars cash.

Admittedly, I didn't see the $50 given away - and I knew the answer at the time, most of our party did but just didn't want to go up and earn what we admitted would be a far lesser prize - so I can't say that they actually give away $50 or how often they give it away, but I do know that I will be answering if they ask a trivia question while I'm there again.

Calen also asked me to point out that their party rooms are impressively well stocked and outfitted for what she would have expected.  The room has two large tables - wooden, substantial, well within the creepy theme - with seating for nearly twenty children.  In each party room, there is also a refrigerator, a large sideboard (perfect for birthday party gifts) and a bit of extra space for larger items to be placed in waiting.  Admirably, the room is decorated in lenticular 'ghost paintings' which reveal ghoulish sights as an party goer would move across the room.  The party rooms are not black lit, providing more light as a birthday party would need.  They offer a number of different party packages - some of which give a lifetime pass for the special person.

According to Calen - who has children of her own - all of this makes for a pretty awesome place to have a kid's birthday party.

I have to admit that I have no clue whatsoever about that kind of stuff.

My parent's never let us do stuff like that.

Not that I'm bitter or anything, nope.  Not at all...

I will say, though, that I'm thinking about having my next ChemGuy birthday party there just so I can get the lifetime pass that comes with the teen/adult birthday party packages they offer.

Update: Monster Mini-Golf

In a fascinating turn of events, Tony - an employee at Monster Mini Golf in West Chester - stumbled upon my blog post reviewing the course.  He says they've made some changes and that I should check out the new designs.

First off, I'm absolutely fascinated whenever anyone that I don't know directly finds this blog.

Secondly, if he's willing to take the time to read and comment, I'm willing to take a chance to give him another try.  I'll be re-reviewing Monster Mini Golf in the next few weeks.  Anybody wanna join me for a visit?

Into the Briny not so deep

Now that's a contest...chipping from the roof of a thirty-four floor building down to PetCo Park's outfield to a bullseye. If he hits to bullseye, PF Chang's gives everybody in the country free lettuce wraps and $2000 to Baird's chairty foundation ($1000 in the inner ring, $500 in the outer ring).

So go get yourself some lettuce wraps, folks.

Check out all the details - like you care, seriously free lettuce wraps - here.



Check it, folks, free lettuce wraps.


Did I mention the free lettuce wraps?

Review: Monster Mini-Golf

So, I've got a thing for mini-golf.

Don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I've put together a rubric for rating courses (because ya have to have number to rate anything) and I once put together a website for mini-golf in the Cincinnati area.

I mention all of this just as an introduction to my review of Monster Mini-Golf in West Chester. I'd been looking to try out the relatively new course since it opened about a year ago (I pass it every day to and from school), and The Girl's school had a family fun night with a couple buck discount for each adult. So to the Monster we headed.

I dig the concept of the indoor mini-golf course. In a climate like ours here in Cincinnati, any outdoor miniature golf course gets a solid three or four month season plus a dicey month or two on either end of that season. Moving the course indoors extends the season year round, but such a course needs to find a different way to draw in casual customers, those who might drive by an outdoor course and choose to drop in for a game. If the indoor course doesn't have that steady source of walk-by traffic, what they gain in year-round playability, I think they'll trade off for decreased visibility.

Monster Mini-Golf's gimmick then, is a game played under black light and an amazingly efficient use of their interior space. The front of the store is taken up by a half dozen fluorescent games - air hockey, video games, typical Chuck E Cheese stuff - and two party rooms available for birthday parties and sweet sixteens (catering to a demographic more in line with the decorations and mood of the place).

From there, every inch of the back half to two-thirds of the store is taken up with the course itself. The holes are bordered by landscape timbers (maybe 6x6") that have been sponge painted with fluorescent paint. Framed on these are simple boxes as bumpers and angled barricades. These are also important as without them, there would be no places to stand off course, to avoid being in someone's field of play as every single inch of the course is part of the eighteen holes.

Within the holes are monster-themed obstacles - rattling cages, glowing pumpkins, fluorescent haunted houses - all of which glow under the ultraviolet lights. The walls are hung with fluorescent monster vignettes on black fabric, and the corners are taken up by a DJ booth and a scene of Frankenstein's monster who rises up and scares the patrons at the worker's bidding.

It's a neat theme and makes for a festive atmosphere, something probably more suited to teens than to lower elementary kids - not because the artwork is particularly scary but because of the music choice being a little more aggressive and a little more Green Day than Jonas Brothers.

As to the playability of the course itself, I found it largely boring. The carpet that the course uses runs a little fast but true, utilizing a slightly shaggier and lighter-colored carpet for the "sand traps". The tee mats are monster-paw-shaped with LEDs marking their presence, but the mats aren't flush with the carpet so they actually end up being a hindrance to the putting. We avoided the tee mats entirely - and even got a visit from an employee trying to make sure that we understood that the tee mats were there.

The style of play, then, is also boring as there are no elevation changes and no real variation in the obstacles. Every hole plays as a flat rectangle with a few forty-five degree angles built into the rectangle. There are no slopes to roll across, no round edges to play against, and very little variety at all on the course. Two of the holes have any slope at all - the finishing hole into the clown's mouth - but that's a very easy hole in one - and the corner hole into Frankenstein's monster. The Frank hole allows players to take risk versus reward up a ramp toward the monster, but it cops out by providing a significantly easier straight path around the ramp.

It's a course for people who care more about the atmosphere than about the actual playing experience.

I'll admit that the rubric is built more for outside courses than inside, but let's check the numbers...

• Upkeep - 10 of 10 - The course could have opened a week before we got there, and I'm not sure I would have been able to tell the difference. The lack of weather wear and tear clearly helps them here.
• Difficulty - 3 of 10 - Most of the holes were simple par two's with only a very few requiring more than two for a good player (I was mostly in the three's and four's, admittedly). The raised tee mats actually made things harder as it was tough to get a true roll from them, though the location of the tee mats were in the best places to start most of the holes.
• Course Creativity - 5 of 10 - It's an artistic course in terms of attractiveness of the barriers, but every hole plays largely the same - hit it against the back wall or angle and bounce around the barrier. Same walls, same angles every time.
• Surrounding Attractiveness - This category doesn't work at all in an indoor course as it's all based on the natural and planted surroundings. Honestly, the attractiveness of the decoration is pretty high. I'll give it a 7 of 10 here.
• Equipment - 6 of 10 - Scorecards were available but didn't list any pars. No card holders were present anywhere on the course. There were three putter lengths - including kiddie. Pencils were prevalent.
• Cost - 4 of 10 - $7.50 per person regularly with short people (not just kids) being cheaper. $25 "season" passes (good for 3 months) are available.
• Bonus points
  • Mechanized hazards +0
  • Employees +1
  • Hole options +1 (one hole had a cut-through)
  • Multiple-level Holes +0
  • Lighting +0 (no bonus for having lights inside)
  • Unifying Theme +1 - decorations, yes
  • Non-mini Golf Entertainment +1 - arcade, yes
  • Snack Bar +1 - minimal options available
  • Edging Material +1 - it did provide consistent bounces
  • Course Length +0
  • Course Material +0
  • Souvenirs +0 - no labels on the pencils?

Overall Points - 41 out of 90 possible

Most of the points are due, in large part, to the place's newness and decorations. I'd rather play a course that's fun and ugly than one that's really boring and has neat prettily painted walls.

I won't be going back to Monster Mini-Golf of West Chester.