We've finally reached whatever magical threshold of free and reduce lunch-eligible students that we're required to offer those students a free breakfast as well. Other students can get the same breakfast, but they'll have to pay for it. I knew this was coming back in the spring, but it was just a couple of days ago that I found out the details of what the kids would be getting for their breakfast - cereal bars and juice. Nothing too tough to cook each morning, and nothing terribly nutritious either, I'm guessing.
In a conversation not entirely surprising for me, I used this as a jumping off point (not intentionally, mind you - things like this just happen inside my brain) for considerations of how we might be able to get a little more nutrition into the breakfast. Maybe we could throw in some Pop Tarts, particularly of the blueberry variety so that the kids could get a little more fruit for breakfast.
Ah, but do fruit-flavored Pop Tarts really have fruit in them? And if they don't, how exactly would you label them to try to trick people into thinking they were truly fruit-filled?
In a world where food isn't cheese but it is cheesy...where Chik-Fil-A sells ice dream...where food isn't beef but it is beef-flavored, what is the best appellation for Pop Tarts that don't have blueberry in them (I can't find the actual ingredients anywhere on the web because the official Pop Tart website - while fun - is about as useful as toilet paper to a centaur)?
Would you call them...
- Bluererry-y Pop Tarts - the addition of the extra y makes pronounciation tough
- Blueberryesque Pop Tarts - a little more high-brow a version of the previous
- Blueberryish Pop Tarts - and a little more low-brow
- Pop Tarts Reminiscent of Blueberry - a little wordy but doesn't actually say there are blueberries in there - the definition just says it "bring to mind"
- Pop Tarts with a hint of blueberry - you can give hints without really giving away the real food, the answers
- Pop Tarts not entirely unlike blueberry - my personal favorite but probably a little obvious
- Blueberry-Flavored Pop Tarts - lame, predictable
- Pop Tarts with the essence of blueberryness - what, though, really is the essence of a blueberry if not real blueberries - could be trouble
- Pop Tarts that make you think of blueberries - it clearly doesn't say there are blueberries in there
- Bluebarry Pop Tarts - ah, the old malk trick
- Bluuberry Pop Tarts - see previous
- Blueberry-Smelling Pop Tarts - when they're heated, this could work well
- Pop Tarts with artificial blueberry flavor - again, lame
- Pop Tarts that remind you of blueberries much more than just about any other Pop Tart flavor does - could be a bit lengthy for the label